Top 27 John Mulaney Quotes

QUOTODAY.COM – Do you know who John Mulaney is? Why is he so famous? Especially about his funny quotes. To make it clear before stepping on the 27 best funny quotes by John Mulaney, let’s find who John Mulaney is below.

John Mulaney is an American actor, comedian, author, and producer. His full name is John Edmund Mulaney and he was born on August 26, 1982 to Charles W. Mulaney Jr and Ellen Mulaney in Chicago, Illinois, U.S. He is so famous because of his skill as a stand-up comedian and the author of  Saturday Night Live, a TV Show. Another work, he also played an important role in that show which was created by himself fictionaly, the show was ‘Mulaney’. Unfortunately, the show was not running so well because the viewers were too few and it was stopped after one season. The lucky boy, he was actually getting the opportunity to join the movie ‘Home Alone’ in his very young age, it was 7, but unfortunately his parents declined.

As a passionate comedian, John Mulaney moved to New York to gain more skills in comedy. That’s a good decision, he worked as the assistant officer for Comedy Central and then sometimes he worked as the commentator in the comedy show of Best Week Ever. He also received many awards multiple times from Emmys for the shows he was involved in. There are many movies or shows he was involved in to lead him famously, such as : Saturday Night (2010), Nick Kroll (2011), John Mulaney (2012), Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity (2017), John Mulaney (2018), Spider-Man (2018), Spider-Ham (2019), CInderella (2021), Chip n Dale (2022) and many other shows. Well, the information about John Mulaney is enough and  now it’s time to know about 27 best funny quotes by John Mulaney as follows :

1. “I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the king of stress that I am under.”  – John Mulaney

1. “I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the king of stress that I am under.”  – John Mulaney

2. “Being president looks like the worst job in the world.”  – John Mulaney

2. “Being president looks like the worst job in the world.”  – John Mulaney

3. “It’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.” – John Mulaney

3. “It’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.” – John Mulaney

4. “College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”  – John Mulaney

4. “College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”  – John Mulaney

5. “Things don’t exist until they exist.”  – John Mulaney

5. “Things don’t exist until they exist.”  – John Mulaney

6. “I don’t look older, I just look worse.”  – John Mulaney

6. “I don’t look older, I just look worse.”  – John Mulaney

7. “If someone had written a review saying, ”Oh, Hello’ is stupid,’ we would have said, ‘Yeah, it is. You’re absolutely right.’ That people liked it was extremely cool.”  – John Mulaney 

7. “If someone had written a review saying, ”Oh, Hello’ is stupid,’ we would have said, ‘Yeah, it is. You’re absolutely right.’ That people liked it was extremely cool.”  – John Mulaney

8. “I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.”  – John Mulaney

8. “I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.”  – John Mulaney

9. “I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.”  – John Mulaney

9. “I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.”  – John Mulaney

10. “If you are a school student, your opinion does not matter.”  – John Mulaney

10. “If you are a school student, your opinion does not matter.”  – John Mulaney

11. “I’m a very straightforward person. But that’s fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you’re talking about everyone else.”  – John Mulaney

11. “I’m a very straightforward person. But that’s fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you’re talking about everyone else.”  – John Mulaney

12. “You should be able to say, ‘I don’t know.’ That should be an acceptable answer on a test.”  – John Mulaney

12. “You should be able to say, ‘I don’t know.’ That should be an acceptable answer on a test.”  – John Mulaney

13. “Understudies don’t normally get invited to openings.”  – John Mulaney

13. “Understudies don’t normally get invited to openings.”  – John Mulaney quotes

14. “All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.”  – John Mulaney

14. “All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.”  – John Mulaney

15. “I don’t make plans anymore. So I’m not living minute to minute.”  – John Mulaney

15. “I don’t make plans anymore. So I’m not living minute to minute.”  – John Mulaney

16. “You can do good work by simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.”  – John Mulaney

16. “You can do good work by simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.”  – John Mulaney

17. “I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment.”  – John Mulaney

17. “I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment.”  – John Mulaney

18. “You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.”  – John Mulaney

18. “You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.”  – John Mulaney

19. “I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.”  – John Mulaney

19. “I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.”  – John Mulaney

20. “I quit drinking because I used to drink too much, then I would black out and I would ruin parties.”  – John Mulaney

20. “I quit drinking because I used to drink too much, then I would black out and I would ruin parties.”  – John Mulaney

21. “Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.”  – John Mulaney

21. “Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.”  – John Mulaney

22. “I just watched a ton of comedy and saw a ton of different styles, and eventually you think, ‘Oh, yeah, I could be like that.”  – John Mulaney

22. “I just watched a ton of comedy and saw a ton of different styles, and eventually you think, ‘Oh, yeah, I could be like that.”  – John Mulaney

23. “There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that’s just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you’re pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.”  – John Mulaney

23. “There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that’s just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you’re pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.”  – John Mulaney

24. “The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.”  – John Mulaney

24. “The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.”  – John Mulaney quotes

25. “Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.”  – John Mulaney

25. “Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.”  – John Mulaney

26. “I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I’d done a lot of things I wasn’t proud of.”  – John Mulaney

26. “I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I’d done a lot of things I wasn’t proud of.”  – John Mulaney

27. “People having expectations may mean they’ve enjoyed what I’ve done.”  – John Mulaney

27. “People having expectations may mean they’ve enjoyed what I’ve done.”  – John Mulaney

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